- Is your home a place where you can relax and recover from the pressures of a day at work/school?
- When you’re at home, do you have a strong sense of belonging to your tribe?
- Do you feel good about yourself?
- When there are problems, are you able to work together to find answers which everyone is happy with?
- Do you feel heard and respected?
- Are your needs being met; and are you meeting the needs of the people around you?
- Are the relationships in your psychologically healthy and functional?
Supporting you with your Parenting
Join me to discover one relational approach that will feel good for you and all your children, whatever their age and however different they are to each other. Our parents invest their time and energy in us because they want to get the best from themselves and their children. They identify and build on their strengths; and they find their own voice, which is often different to that of their own parents. They keep their children safe by using power appropriately and they have strategies for preventing problems from happening in the first place. They guide and influence their children to be themselves and live in the world. Our parents ask for their needs to be met in the parent/child relationship because respectful relating is a two-way street. They are skilful listeners and communicators, who raise children to become resilient problem solvers. Our parents create happier, calmer family environments. They create and sustain strong, long-term relationships with their children, from toddler to teenager and beyond.
2 hour Workshops: KnowHow2
Accessible, affordable and available for all parents/carers of verbal children of any age. A set of 5 x 2 hour workshops where you will get the KnowHow to transform behaviour and build stronger relationships for a happier family. These workshops can be taken in any order. Book here
- BE YOU (Understand yourself; find your ‘style’ of parenting, bust some Parenting Myths; understand Needs – yours and your family; find 5 values you want to bring into your parenting.)
- HAVE A RESOURCEFUL, HEALTHY MINDSET (Cultivate a growth mind-set, develop focussed attention, be a resilient parent, know when to challenge and/or support your children, recognise that ‘surviving is thriving’.)
- LISTEN WELL* (Understand others; manage meltdowns and/or withdrawal, promote self-regulation; refine Active Listening Skills (how to offer ‘as if’ empathy, accept your child as they are, being authentically you); avoid the pitfalls of dysfunctional relating, mediation skills for family arguments.)
- BE HEARD – USE ‘CLEAN’ LANGUAGE* (understanding what’s happening with your child’s behaviour; responding is better than reacting; develop a discipline philosophy; address behaviour, give healthy praise.)
- INFLUENCE GOOD CHOICES (Move from being concerned to influencing; support your child to make better choices; let your child be different to you; change with your child; live the values you want to see in your child.)
- WORKING WITH YOUR CHILD’S BRAIN (listen to regulate and integrate your child’s brain; support your child to develop mindsight; use memory to manage and name difficult emotions; how to move from emotional distress to problem solving.) *This can only be taken if you have attended the LISTEN WELL workshop.
- UNITING THE FAMILY (Keep your cool – Anger Management; avoid power struggles; make boundaries that everyone respects; resolve arguments so that everyone is OK.) *This can only be taken if you have attended the BE HEARD – USE ‘CLEAN’ LANGUAGE workshop.
Parent Effectiveness Training (PET)
PET is a licensed programme from Gordon Training International, California. Carried out over 8x3hr sessions, I will take you through Thomas Gordon’s Behaviour Window ™, which includes a full set of communication and conflict-resolution skills and all the principles that underpin the PET approach.
The central goal of PET is to present skills that can help you have happy, healthy and satisfying relationships with the children in your life. The Effective Parent/Carer:
- Listens with understanding. You will help children to solve their own problems and meet their own needs
- Communicates honestly. you will disclose your feelings, needs and values in order to prevent conflicts
- Problem solves fairly. You will resolve conflicts between you and your child; and you will help your children resolve the conflicts they have between themselves.
- Shares values respectfully. You will know how to work with values collisions and differences.
The conceptual model is the Behavior Window, a framework developed by Dr Thomas Gordon for determining who owns the problem – parent, child or both? Parents learn to use this window to help them to decide which skill to use depending on whose problem it is. The Behavior Window provides a framework for dealing with all behaviors; and there are communication and conflict resolution skills to handle any relationship problem.
PET is an approach that combines the work of Dr Thomas Gordon (Parent Effectiveness Training) and Dr Carl Rogers.(Person Centred Approach). Both worked together at the University of Chicago in the 1960s, developing models for effective relationships within therapy, leadership, parenting, teaching and peace work; and both were nominated, separately, for the Nobel Peace Prize, for their contributions to the betterment of humanity.
Coaching – Parent/s only, Parent/Child, Full Family
Coaching gives you an opportunity to identify what you want and how you might get there. Coaching can give you the option to work on your family issues in a fully confidential setting. You can do this with me in Norwich NR2, ‘walking and talking’ at Earlham Park, or by phone. Book here
Coaching – Couple
Being together in relationship can be challenging – it requires work, commitment and (some would say) compromise. Sometimes we can get stuck in unhelpful behaviours, which meet our own needs but create friction in the relationship. Other times, we can focus on meeting the needs of the other partner only to discover that we’ve lost ourselves. By looking at and understanding what relationship means in theory, we can move towards being interdependent – two fully functioning authentic individuals, in a psychologically healthy relationship. Book here
Children’s Mental Health Awareness for Parents
Coming in 2020, a calendar of events to raise awareness of children’s and young people’s mental health. If you would like to be added to the mailing list, please use the ‘Update me’ button to the right of this page.
Still not sure whether this approach is right for you?
- Why ask for support with parenting? Parents give some reasons about why they have come to me for support.
- Useful questions for parents to ask themselves.
- Independent parenting reviews and reviews submittmited on this website demonstrate the impact of working with me.
- My blog will give you some more information about the importance of parent/child relationship and what my opinion of that is. These are articles previously printed by the Eastern Daily Press, Family Section
Lisa (Mum of three, including twins) says:
This approach is the best present you could ever buy for your children.