Useful questions for Parents

Relationship and Problem Prevention Skills
  • What is an effective Parent?
  • How can I accurately identify what is in my child’s behaviour?
  • How does my child’s behaviour link to their needs?
  • What are the 3 influences that move my child’s behaviour from ‘acceptable’ to ‘unacceptable’?
  • When there is a problem, how do I know which communication skill to use?
  • What do I do if there is a conflict?
  • How do I expand the time with my family, where there are no problems?
  • Can I stop problems from starting in the first place?
Helping Attitudes – Helping Skills – Active Listening
  • How do I know my child has a problem they want to talk about?
  • How do I help to keep my child talking?
  • How do I resist taking on my child’s problems, so they can find their own solution?
  • What are helping attitudes?
  • What skills can I use to show my child I accept and understand them?
  • What is active listening and how do I do it?
  • What do I say to help my child resolve their problem, without taking charge?
  • How do I mediate, without being drawn in, when my family are arguing?
Confronting Skills
  • How can I be more assertive in my parenting?
  • What do I do when I have a problem with my child’s behaviour?
  • What’s the difference between a You-message and an I-message?
  • Can I congruently tell my child I have a problem with their behaviour?
  • What do I have to do to keep my child’s self-esteem intact?
  • How do I deal with defensiveness?
  • What do I say to ensure my message is received and understood?
  • What do I do if the problem happens again?
Win/win Conflict Resolution Skills
  • How do I feel about confrontation?
  • What is the cost of using power and submission in my parenting?
  • Can I influence my children more; and control them less?
  • How do I manage my anger?
  • Is there such a thing as win/win conflict resolution?
  • How can we stop arguments and find solutions that work?
  • What’s the difference between a solution and a need?
  • What skills do I need to use Conflict Resolution with my family?
  • How can our family make rules/decisions that work for everyone?
Values Collision/Influencing Skills
  • What is the difference between a conflict of needs and a conflict of values?
  • What are my values; and do I want to keep them?
  • Am I separate enough from my child, to allow them to be different from me?
  • Can I be a congruent parent?
  • How do I start difficult conversations?
  • How can I influence my child to adopt my values?
  • How do we move from colliding values, towards accepting difference?

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